No. Please & thank you.

if i see you, i think i'd wanna walk the other way and never turn back. as long as it's been, i'm not ready to see you. even though it's summer, imma try any way to avoid the day we come into contact. i'm okay & i know for a fact that you are too. so with this entire "go our separate ways" deal, let's keep it that way. i'm not mad at you, i never was. i just know for a fact that i'm not ready to see you again and don't take that as an offense. i'm not gonna pretend to be happy to see you, that's just not fair. i think the whole being friends thing's gonna take longer than i hoped. things are back to the way they used to be, and i can honestly say, i'm finally happy again. it's as if we never knew the other existed & i think that's how things were meant to be all along.

UP

I've been having a totes hard time sleeping early. Insomnia has struck me bad. Thank you summer. 3am is the fuggin scary hour, but here I am, wide awake. Nothing planned for tomorrow/today. Spontaneity has been my back-up plan. I really can't believe that it's June already. Almost Sweet 19 (: Such an ugly number, but it's 2 away from the long waited 21. & so for the next two years, I'll just hafta stick it through. Growing older I've realized a few things.
-People come & go
-Be aggressive when necessary
-Things change, so be ready
-Sometimes the best thing is to move on
-Love what you have & who you are
& lastly
-Don't take anything, anyone or any day for granted.
* I'm still tryna keep these lessons imprinted in my mind. So bear in mind that I might forget 'em every now & then.
Random, but I fuggin cried about "11/12" two days ago. & in all honesty I don't know why. I guess THAT was what I needed to fully understand why things happened the way it did. I just had to tell the story one last time to finally let it all go. He was my first, & hopefully he won't be my last. Is it 'cause I have feelings for him still? Don't think so. They've been long gone. I think it's 'cause I just missed that feeling. I finally appreciated what I had, & it was taken away from me in a blink of an eye. It is true that you can't get over someone, unless someone else has replaced them. But what can I do? Answer: get back in the game. But I'm pretty content just chillin'. Kay tons of sidetracking done. Now time to finally sleep.