i love...

how every song on the radio's about getting drunk. i just LOVE IT. it makes me wonder what type of music will be playing 10 yrs from now. they've pretty much sang/rapped about everything & anything. to be honest, the dumbest songs are the most popular ones. nowadays, nobody wants to listen to a sappy, emo song on the radio. they want to listen to a song they can dance to. forreal. but it does make me appreciate the songs from the bands that were out when i was a little ballada, like nsync, spice girls, backstreet boys, britney spears & christina aguilera. mos def i believe that nobody can replace them, not even the fuggin joebros or hannah montana. i mean c'mon, the bands back in the '90s set the bar high. i pretty much had a "pop" phase, so hello white side. & though some people may say i talk "ghetto", it don't mean i listen to the ghetto. though i do like to listen to t-pain & kanye every so often. but that's beside the point. scroll through my ipod & you'll find music that'll make you go "wtf is this?" but whatever i like it. give it a chance & you'll like it too! promise. aka M.I.A., dashboard confessional, all-american rejects, adele, the killers etcetera. there are some songs that you just hafta listen to a few times then you'll learn to love it. but as for now, listen to the beat, then the lyrics, & appreciate music. gracias (:

Cutsey

made me laugh a little. thank you postsecret (:

Say whaa?

Nothing philosophical, just some venting happiness.
How is it that two people can act like complete strangers even though they both know each other inside & out? Sometimes you think that you've wasted your time making an effort to get so close to another person & then you realize that people come & go in your life. You try & forget someone, but in all honesty, you'll always remember them in some way. You can't hold on to silly things like that. You hafta just move on & realize, it happened. So work with what you got, not what you had. It is true that you can't go looking for love, it has to find you. It can be right in front of you, but once you're really ready, everything'll fall into place. You can love something one day, and the next day you can care less about it. You can give away your heart, and hope the other person doesn't break it. But with all this talk about love, in the end heartache is inevitable. So enjoy it while it lasts & don't take any second for granted. Lesson learned.

Long Overdue

It's Christmas break again & I'm so fcking happy (: We've always looked forward to the weekend, but now we have one month to be lazy & just do whatever we want! This "finals week" was pretty much ...chill. 3 day sleepover, "kairos", outings, middle parts, CRUstmas, chongalicious & last minute studying. We survived one semester together. Hopefully we'll get through another one next year. School's on pause, now let the fun begin. Reunion, kick backs, road trips, outings and Disneyland? Yes, please.

p.s. I Am Sasha Fierce is the best sht ever. Listen & love it.

Rewind

Back to square one. I knew it would just come & sneak up on me. Bad idea just staying here 'cause what else is there to do but think? I thought too much, even when it was over. It won't go away completely, but I'm slowly getting over it. It just sucks to know I'm the only one who shows it. That's what hurts the most. I don't know what I want. Actually I do. I want things to go back to normal, but I know that'll never happen. I guess I thought that things would get better after it was done & over with, but it just got worse. A lot of people are here to help me get through it & I'm so thankful, I don't know what the fuck I would do without them. So thank you for keeping my head up & speaking the truth. I pretty much deleted most of everything to get over things more quickly. It's helping, I'm healing. Leona Lewis that genius! No emo though. I have to just focus on what's important at the moment. What used to be one of my main priorities is slowly becoming one of the last things on my mind. There's no use trying to make something happen, when there's nothing to work with. It was good while it lasted & that's all I can ask for.

Most of you know what this concerns. It's super repetitive, but the venting stage will be done before Thanksgiving [: yay shopping.

Done.

I've realized that people change & I'm okay with that. But not over a span of week. I really hate it when people speak before they think. They say things that aren't true, but want to place blame on the other person. And I'm not really into being treated like that. People you thought were so amazing one day, turn into an asshole another day. I'm not one to just accept it, but I'm not the one to change it either. People separate & I can deal with that. Just don't agree to stay on good terms when you've spoken to me in a way that was disrespectful. At least give me that. I don't know where you went, but you disappeared on me. I've lost hope & now I'm ready to move on without you.

I'm gonna accept the love I think I deserve, & it's not gonna come from you.

Venting time over :]

Scattered

I've noticed that I'm always happy when it's Friday until Sunday night...then when I'm back @ msmc I'm so sad haha Plus, my face breaks out & clears up during the weekend. That explains a lot. Great observation. School's just too much right now & I'm never in the mood to study. Like today. I'm only thinking about Christmas break. Oh & Disneyland. We all look forward to the fun stuff & get totally distracted from what we're supposed to be focusing on. It's so bad, but suprisingly we get things done eventually. This is really repetitive, but I miss high school. Not the work, but compared to now, I really wish it was as easy as high school. But the thing I really miss is seeing everyone everyday. I'm still getting used to it. After 3 months of school it still hasn't registered that most of these people aren't spending 9+ hours a day with me. I still keep in touch with a few of them, & we pretty much talk about the same things. But it's not the same. We should just all have a reunion! 5 month reunion! I was looking at pictures from Senior Year. Just randomly going through them, the ones on my computer, the ones on facebook & the ones on my wall & I really, really wanna go back to high school. It's fun in college, but I haven't really transitioned yet. Hopefully I will soon. Oh & you know what else I did? I took out the Group Prom Picture from my desk drawer (which belong to Claudz & Nick, haha I'll give em to you guys soon!) & I just stared at it for a good 10 min. Okay no more reminiscing, time to study! Now that I've gotten all that off my chest, time to concentrate at 12am! Woo ♥